Nobbys Whibayganba Interior No 1

WRITING LIGHT AT NOBBYS WHIBAYGANBA SITE My art making does not sit at a distance from me, way above my head, far off to the right. It exists as I exist. I cannot remove the history. I cannot disconnect from the layers holding this building up. I cannot ignore those who walked this same land before me, prehistoric beasts, animals, indigenous cultivators, settlers, convicts and those who imprison them, the layered colonisation of this city. I cannot ignore the maritime history, the ocean, the harbour and industry. There is blood red inside these walls and I see it if I look hard. Everything penetrates this time. Funnily enough I am not overwhelmed as time moves on and I inhabit the space each day, inside and outside space, physical bodily space and emotionally charged inner creativity. I simultaneously feel joy and wonder as I load my cameras with film and paper, place paper out into the light for an impression of time. The wind only moves one small camera left onsite as I check and renew each week up until week six. One hour of light, one day of light, one week of light, one month almost of light, all fragments recording my presence here. My own history is unwritten by me, my longing for acceptance, recognition and respect as an artist in this city and this country particularly still hangs over me like a weighted cloak. I think of that here as well. Will I make good work? Will anyone know that I was here? I find it hard to dislodge fear entirely this past six weeks, these six years, these sixty years. My pulse quickens when I see my light is on again. It’s flashing and soft and a little encrusted with sea salt today. My interest in art practice is heightened. I am a realist and there is always a more difficult response though worth examining some days for what it is. I cannot totally dismiss those who continue to turn off my lights, or who leave me isolated standing alone in a newer light with no intention to harm but no intention of inclusion. I know I should let them go; let the anxiety that is released go and I inwardly know I can stand on my own here. So I do stand and embrace that position at the end of the six weeks anyway; and I now cast them out; those doubts and fears and those controlling the lights. My cloak is now thrown over their eyes so they cannot see me rise. Rise to this site. Rise to this art.